Rivers and Light

Art Piece: Let Love Grow

2012-02-16T23:32:00.000-08:00

My newest creation is one I'd had in the works for a while.

This phrase, "Let Love Grow," while also being a key line in a most excellent Mumford and Sons song, has been a major theme in my life right now. Having finally received His precious grace, it seems the first lesson I have been learning is one of patience. To wait is to put my faith in His promise, that all good things will come to me with time, that He will give me all my hearts desires... in His perfect timing.

And so, just as long as it took me to wrap my little string around each metal wire to spell out each word, may you have patience to wait and believe that beautiful things are being born through your patience.

xo Beloved

Self-Portrait: "Learning to See"

2012-02-15T14:40:00.000-08:00

Today I finished a self-portrait.

In so many ways, I am a still a baby when it comes to things of the Lord, and learning to see in the Spirit is a major challenge sometimes... that was my inspiration for this piece. But, at the same time, the way one eye is all silvered and golden, that is the same way that it is learning to see: a pure, glorious experience.

I love doing portraits, and they always come out very different and totally unique. And I take requests, always :)

xo Beloved.

New Year, New House, New Work, and Papercut: for Kieth

2012-02-15T12:18:00.000-08:00

It's been a long time since I have updated my blog, which doesn't mean I haven't been up to things in my creative life! But in this new house, in this new year, I feel that my creativity is going to flourish! I have space for my art studio in my room and can access everything so easily! It is a beautiful gift.

So, without any more delay, here is the first piece I would like to share.

I actually got a vision for this piece last December, but finished it this month! It was a gift for my friend, Kieth Green.

Piece + Self-Portrait ;)

Details:

For me, this piece is full of meaning. Each little blade coming up from the ground has a different word written on it in tiny letters: Faith, Patience, Kindness, Strength, Peace, etc.
It is about letting ourselves grow, about watching as all that we are becomes strong and large and flourishing, like a great oak, all on its own, as is the way of all life in this world, this little shadow we call the Earth that tells such tales of the Spirit's ways.

I had actually intended to put this in a double frame (ie the little boy and the oak would be framed separately, but connected by a hinge), but I stepped on the glass for the frame and broke it. When I saw this larger frame, I knew it was meant for this piece, and as I was putting it together, I heard the Lord whisper, "It's the same picture to me." He looks down and sees not just all the growth and all the promises yet to bear fruit, but He sees the whole, magnificent oak, and, though he marvels, He most of all cherishes us just exactly where we are. "For I KNOW the plans I have for you." This verse came to mind as well. He never loses faith in us. His belief in us is the very water that fills the veins of that oak tree and carries it into all strength. So we rest, being still beneath the moon, waiting, at peace.

Peace and Rest, Beloved. And Patience like a never-ending fount. xo

Pastel: Face.

2011-09-13T00:29:00.001-07:00

Papercut : Love.

2011-09-10T22:17:00.000-07:00

God is Jesus is Love.

There is no fear in Love. Perfect Love drives fear far, far away.

Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom!

(music, love, life, dance, laughter, play). (!).

HearTasteTouchSmellSee that the Lord is GOOD!

For God IS LOVE!!!

(same, same).

There's a lot being said in this papercut. I'm saying, amongst other things:

God is all heart! All love!

From the veins of that love flow freedom, life, music, laughter! Even before we can see!

From the moment He touches us, the reverberations of love, like bubbles of life, echo out into the world, seeking to envelop all those who will let themselves be touched.

Color. Beauty. Life. Gifts from Love!

Sometimes, you just need to draw with crayons :)

2011-09-10T21:37:00.000-07:00

...preferably, while surrounded by lots of children :) ... while watching kids at Kennedy:

Sketch of Dreams Behind You

2011-08-15T15:23:00.001-07:00

Paint. .ed. It.

2011-07-15T23:06:00.000-07:00

Pastel, on Strength.

2011-07-08T22:33:00.001-07:00

So I have been obsessed with the idea of strength recently.

I had visions for this piece as I was creating it. Most of what I create comes about that way. I want to ask the Holy Spirit what it means. Hmm, lets see. I hear:

Strength comes before beauty. It is strength that holds beauty up.
The butterflies represent women who are trapped in the dark lies that tell them they are not the beautiful creations God says they are.

For women, our culture perpetuates the belief that weakness and frailty are the mark of beauty. The truth is that strength is the necessary foundation for true beauty to flourish.

Wow, release the women Lord, who don't believe in how deeply, truly beautiful they are! Freedom for those who are locked in fear to express their true beauty, inside and outside!!!

More to come on this subject I am sure. Love to all!

Papercut: For Megan Amideneau

2011-07-04T17:26:00.000-07:00

This is the first time I am really experimenting with different colors in my papercuts. I'm excited about it. It definitely opens up a new word of possibilities... though I like the simplicity and silent beauty of just the white papercuts. We'll see where this takes me :)

There's lots of meaning in this piece. I'd love to hear what you see in it :)

Papercut: For James

2011-06-15T09:12:00.000-07:00

This is the last piece I did while in Texas.

It was a gift and the meanings are personal. Sorry for the low quality phone picture.

Mixed Media Piece: "Genesis"

2011-06-10T22:43:00.001-07:00

....Painted entirely with my hands. No brush touched the canvas. Thinking about darkness and light, water and spirit, in those first acts of creation....

Creating this was an amazing experience.

Pastel: TJ's Girlfriend

2011-06-10T19:56:00.000-07:00

I did this as a commission piece for a friend when I was in Texas :) ....commission portraits are available upon request!

Progression of Face, TJ's girlfriend

2011-06-10T19:49:00.001-07:00

Progression of Face: Tenny

2011-06-05T21:42:00.001-07:00

Pastel: Tenny ♥

2011-06-05T21:37:00.001-07:00

Pastel: Betsi Clark.

2011-04-08T16:12:00.001-07:00

She is done!!!!

The beautiful Betsi Clark:

Progression of Face, Betsi

2011-03-29T12:28:00.000-07:00

I thought it would be fun to show the progression of my newest portrait before the official "unveiling" ....this is like looking through the ribcage of the artist at the inner parts, so just feel grateful for the glorious bloody mess you are about to behold ;)

...I will keep posting my progress until the final piece is complete :) Love to all xxoo

Self-Portrait, Pastel.

2011-03-23T18:28:00.000-07:00

Self. Art.

2011-03-19T00:32:00.000-07:00

Playing with Color, Sound, Heat, Feeling

Face 3, finished.

2011-03-18T00:03:00.001-07:00

I love him. ♥.

Face 3

2011-03-16T18:25:00.001-07:00

Trying to decide if he wants hair or not............................ . Leaning towards not.

Face 2.

2011-03-16T14:11:00.000-07:00

Face

2011-03-16T11:23:00.000-07:00

Papercut: for Chelsea and Jon's Wedding

2011-03-15T13:56:00.000-07:00

This papercut was a wedding blessing for the marriage of Chelsea and Jon Kawashima. Each image represents a different blessing, including blessings for health, prosperity, and sweetness.

Close-ups:

Sorry for the bad pics, I'm limited to my camera phone right now ;)

Cinderella: The Saga, Part 3

2011-03-11T14:21:00.000-08:00

Having tried everything he could think of to win his love Cinderella back, Batman decided to pray.

As he began to ask for help, who should show up but......

JESUS CHRIST!!!!!
"Hey....."

At first, the Lord was a little miffed.

"Dude. You're Batman. Don't you think you could have figured something out?"

Batman started to cry.

He cried

and cried

and cried.

Jesus listened sympathetically and let him get it out. Then He said, "Lemme tell you what I'm going to do."

"You can borrow this guy till Tuesday."
"Hey," said the angel, "I'm Gabe."

"Thank you so much!" Batman exclaimed. "I won't disappoint you! I will win her back!"
"Hey," Jesus replied, "wanna see something sweet before I go?"

"Six pack!!!"

With a flash of light emanating from his sculpted abs, Jesus was off, and Batman was left to come up with a scheme to win his lady back, angel-style.

Stay tuned for Part 4 as the saga continues!

Cinderella: The Saga, Part 2

2011-03-10T17:17:00.000-08:00

Batman, having recently been rejected by his one true love, Cinderella, was determined to win her back.

He tried presents.

He invited her horseback riding.

He even invited her Tauntaun-riding!

Indeed, in total desperation, he once attempted voodoo.

But it was all to no avail.

The two were extremely in love.

When it seemed there was nothing left to try, Batman got a brilliant idea.

Stay tuned in for Part 3 to see what Batman has thought of next!

Cinderella: The Saga, Part 1

2011-03-09T12:04:00.000-08:00

It started as love.

They were happy together.

Batman thought it couldn't get better!

And yet....

Before he knew it, she was in the arms of another man.

"Batman, he says our love will go to infinity and beyond! I just can't say no to that."

Batman, though broken-hearted, is determined to win her back!

Will Batman's passion re-capture Cinderella's fleeting heart??? Stay tuned for Part 2....

"First Thought"

2011-03-05T15:09:00.000-08:00

What is inspiration?

I see it as that moment in which we allow one thought to really touch us. Like heat or a finger to the flame, it stirs our nerves and sparks the reaction of creation. High in the sky fly many thoughts. Will you let yourself be touched today?

March 1st, 2011

2011-03-01T15:14:00.000-08:00

Close-ups:

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2011-02-28T18:27:00.000-08:00

Close up:

Watercolor: Her Spirit Speaks Softly

2011-01-26T18:50:00.000-08:00

Feeling better about the watercolors, slowly.

It helps to invite the Holy Spirit into your work, always. I have a most excellent friend to thank for that.

New Work Space and a New Medium

2011-01-26T12:04:00.001-08:00

aka Trying to figure out watercolors. We do not understand one another. I say, "Come on! Show a little substance, show a little backbone!" and they slop all over the place in a teary, wet despair. I will have to work on my communication if this is going to last.

But, I am loving this:

My new little "studio" space. ♥.

Watercolor attempts today:

I feel very drawn to conquer this field of painting. It is so foreign to me, and yet.... I want to master it!

Pastel: "Girl Breathing."

2011-01-25T09:37:00.000-08:00

A pastel. I feel her feelings when I look at her.

Recent Sketches

2011-01-18T11:41:00.001-08:00

"Before He Rose"

Watercolor: My first one in Years!

2011-01-17T12:09:00.001-08:00

I had it fixed in my head that I hated watercolors. How silly of me! I had an awesome time last night... baboom! ...with friends and God and paint. Haha, is there a better combination? This is what came out. And it's watercolor! And I really like it!

I painted it this way ^^

But I think it might be meant to be this way:

What do you think?

Papercut: for Betsi Clark.

2011-01-15T18:21:00.000-08:00

This is a papercut I did for my friend Betsi Clark. It is a vision for her based on a prophecy. A blessing for her future, if you will. This woman will do great things.

Details:

This bird is actually tatooed on her back.

I have missed publishing posts. I have also moved to Fort Worth, and that is why they have been scarce. Hopefully more to come more frequently! Love. love. love.

2011-01-06T22:38:00.001-08:00

Muzak.

2010-12-29T16:37:00.000-08:00

There has been a sudden shower of fantastic sound in my life.

I'd like to pay it forward.

Lou Barlow, "Legendary"

The Weepies, "World Spins Madly On"

Michael Franti & Spearhead, "The Sound of Sunshine"

Extreme, "More Than Words"

Bright Eyes, "First Day of My Life"

Neko Case, "Porchlight"

What songs have been touching you?

Wolverine Papercut

2010-12-25T12:44:00.001-08:00

I made this for my brother-in-law, Tony. This was by far the hardest papercut piece I have ever done!

Detail shots:

I really love how it turned out. A little non-typical for me, but that's part of why I like it so much ;)

Little Tiny Fabric Baby

2010-12-23T22:36:00.000-08:00

I am the kind of person that likes to be doing something all the time.... even when I'm doing something. So, tonight, while watching the first half of Home Alone, I made this tiny little baby baby.

I have been wanting to experiment with fabric more. As I was making it, I kept thinking, "This is Jesus," and didn't know why (nor was it my intention), but after I was done, I thought what a perfect start to a Nativity set this 'lil guy might make! :) We will see!

He's such a happy baby, and I imagine Jesus was to. I was, in fact, just talking today with my sister Charissa about Jesus being human and how He experienced it all. It's funny that Mary took care of Him from infancy. I just heard a song recently too that said about Mary, "Little did you know that the child you delivered would be your deliverer." It's a strange thing to think about.

How to Love Your Mother This Christmas.

2010-12-23T18:07:00.000-08:00

That's right. Your Mother. We all know her, and most of us are still learning how to treat her well. Well, here's one way to say those three words with.... lots of them.

Who says gifts have to be wrapped in expensive store-bought wrapping paper? It just so happens that newspaper and old scraps of construction paper make an excellent alternative! There are so many creative things you can do with what would otherwise head to the recycling bin.

An old receipt from CVS made a perfect bow:

And the most recent New Times had lots of Christmas-themed pictures already that I got to play with!

The bag I received from the store made a perfectly good gift bag.
All I added was a newspaper clipping for a tag and it was ready!

I know I made Momma so proud ;)

Papercut: For My Cousin Heidi's Wedding Venue

2010-12-22T15:17:00.000-08:00

I just finished putting this together! I am very excited about it and how beautifully it turned out!

Working with color is opening up a whole new world to me!

Details:

It has been a joy to make this piece... the tenderness and softness and wonderful feelings for this special time in a young couples life were all felt keenly by me as I worked on this.

♥

Lily!

2010-12-20T10:36:00.000-08:00

Meet Lily:

She is a true, hopeless romantic

... with her long, sweeping hair loosely bound back

... and her petite body and tiny white corset

She is loveliness itself: as delicate as a flower!

Lily lounging in her lace

As of now, she has only her corset as I try to figure out what whimsical dress I can make for her.

Now Lily must go do some yoga....

In down dog :)

I am discovering that I am more of a doll lover than I ever knew! I feel like I have had my own child with Lily and I just want to be that parent that takes a picture of their kid from every single angle!

Lily is an OOAK doll (which I recently discovered stands for One Of A Kind!) in the making. Did you have a special doll as a child?

♥

Papercut: "Seashell"

2010-12-19T08:34:00.001-08:00

There was no plan with this one either. It definitely just came out of me. :)

The little wispy creatures are each holding a little piece of beauty from the sea: a pearl and a sea star.

Perhaps there is a little wispy one in all of us, each warmly embracing the beauty we have found in this life.

"Worship"

2010-12-15T14:51:00.000-08:00

Wow, I must say I am extremely pleased with how this one came out! It is my favorite one I've made yet by far!

It is a Christmas present for my sister Charissa... she doesn't know I am even making her anything, so shhhhhhh! :) ...I probably should have waited for her to see it first, but I couldn't wait to share it because I love it so much!

Details:

Amongst the objects surrounding her are a trumpet, a tambourine, bells, and a sword.

Size comparison:

"He finally found his magic tree"

2010-12-15T09:12:00.001-08:00

This is yet another image that came to me while I was worshipping.... the picture of the boy holding his leaf.

Each little leaf has a different design/pattern on it, and the leaf he's holding has 10 tiny leaves printed on it... hard to see without my camera that I am praying for. :)

Papercut and A Powerful Story

2010-12-14T14:03:00.000-08:00

This is the largest piece I have done yet. It was a piece I was asked to create by a woman who is very special to me, Tiffany Sahib.

She recently lost her son, and wanted a piece to commemorate him. But I will let her tell you the story.

Details:

Each image holds a lot of significance. If you feel so inclined, please read her story below as I heard it myself, and, if you feel further inclined, please send her prayers or anything else you feel led to send her! If you want her address, let me know and I will give it to you.

First, the letter she sent out to Friends and Family:

"Born Into Heaven"

Dear Friends and Family,

Birth Announcement

As some of you already know, our son was stillborn on October 23. I was 10 days past due and had been to several appointments during the last few weeks of my pregnancy to make sure the baby and I were doing well. I had hoped for a natural delivery without interventions, and was asking the midwives and doctors to give my body as long as safely possible to go into labor naturally. I trusted God for the timing of our birth, and did not want to intervene in that. Every appointment I’d been too showed that our baby was perfectly healthy and that my body was steadily getting ready to go into labor. At our last healthy appointment, the midwife gave me 3 more days and said that they’d plan to induce after that if I hadn’t already gone into labor. She happily encouraged me, saying she didn’t think I’d need the extra time because my body was ready to go into labor at any time. Ghaith and I waited the 3 days, and went in for our last scheduled check-up before being induced. To the utter dismay of all of us, our baby’s heartbeat could not be found. In complete shock and disbelief, we were told that somewhere in those 3 days, our baby had passed away.

I was induced that night, after our families had arrived to the hospital. The next morning, with the help of an incredibly sensitive and skilled hospital staff, my strong husband, and my courageous friend Taryn, I gave birth to our beautiful, seemingly healthy and perfect baby boy. Ghaith and I both had a feeling our baby was a boy, and we were right. He was so beautiful! There was nothing apparently wrong with him, and we are still waiting for an autopsy report with hopes of an answer as to what happened to our little guy.

Rami Yahya Sahib

October 23, 2010

9 lbs, 8 oz

22 ¾ inches tall

daddy’s hair & mama’s lips

We named him Rami (pronounced rah-mee), which is Arabic for archer. His middle name is Yahya, his daddy’s middle name and grandfather’s first name, meaning John (as in John the Baptist). He was a big baby with his daddy’s hands and feet. The nursing staff called him a ‘bruiser”, I guess because he was so big and strong looking. We were able to spend one precious day, just 9 hours with our son in the hospital before we said goodbye. We held him and sang to him and kissed him and caressed his thick, wavy hair. I gave him a warm bath, picked out the prefect outfit for him, and wrapped him up in the sweetest little knit blanket. We introduced him to our families, took some beautiful pictures with him, napped with him, and then we said goodnight and goodbye. It was the hardest thing either of us have ever had to do.

Funeral & Memorial

We gathered with a small group of family and friends in a sweet little cemetery in the Gorge last week to bury Rami. Ghaith and I chose to bury him there because that’s where we’d been hiking the day we found out we were pregnant so many months ago. It’s also a special place to my family for 4 generations. The pastor who conducted the ceremony happens to be a man whose wife lost her baby in the same way many years ago. He spoke with a wisdom and gentleness that was very fitting and much appreciated.

We will have a memorial for Rami on the 40^th day after his death, in Iraqi tradition. We will gather with family and friends, share pictures of the 3 of us as a family, write in Rami’s book, and enjoy a time together.

Where we’re at now

This has been the most difficult time of our lives. We struggle every day in our grief, with quite a range of emotions and thoughts. Ghaith’s are kept inside more, as he has gone back to work and is trying to stay strong for me. I am more open with the waves of emotion that come throughout every day and night, and am also going through the typical postpartum changes that come after giving birth.

Since Ghaith returned to work, he injured his back badly and has been ordered by his doctor to take a month or more off from that job for treatment and healing. Ghaith does not have medical insurance, and the chiropractic treatments are much more than we can afford. He has a 2^nd job which is easier on his back, but it’s only for 2 days per week. I have not worked since July, due to lack of teaching opportunities, and more recently being too far along in my pregnancy.

Ghaith’s parents came from Baghdad to stay with us for the birth of our child. Shortly after their arrival to the U.S., things in Baghdad got even more dangerous than they already were for Ghaith’s remaining family members. His parents are fearful to return to the Middle East and have decided to seek asylum here in the U.S. So, now we have a 4-member household living on an income of 2 days a week. Understandably, and against my midwife’s wishes I have decided to go back to work earlier than planned. My first day back was last week, and it was very difficult for me in several ways. I don’t know how much I’ll be able to work right now, or when Ghaith will be able to find full time work that doesn’t compromise his health. We have, however, received several financial gifts this month that have helped us be able to pay our bills. Thank the Lord.

Amidst all our struggles and pain, we still desire to give thanks to God.

· We thank God we were able to know Rami as well as we could during our pregnancy.

· We thank God that I was not alone that day when we learned that we had already lost our baby. Ghaith was off work in time so we could be together at the appointment.

· We thank God for the precious time we had with our son in the hospital.

· We thank God for the wonderful staff and our friend Taryn who helped us through the delivery of our son.

· We thank God we were able to bury Rami where we thought would be best and that all the costs were covered by our church Imago Dei.

· We thank God that I am healthy and my body is recovering well.

· We thank God for his timing that Ghaith’s parents could be here during this most difficult and painful time to help take care of us.

· We thank God for the incredible inundation of support and prayers from church, family, friends, and even those we’ve simply crossed paths with in our time of loss.

Please pray for us as a family. We are desperately leaning on Him for our every need.

With love and gratitude,

Ghaith & Tiffany Sahib

P.S. Please pass this along to any mutual friends we have. It's easier for Ghaith and I, the less we have to deliver the sad news ourselves. Thank you.

P.P.S. I wrote a letter to Rami and sewed it into a blanket I made for him to be wrapped and buried in. I start the letter with all the nicknames we had for our baby before we decided on Rami. The letter is deeply personal, but after reading it to our small group of family and friends at the funeral, I have discovered that it helps others to understand where Ghaith and I are in regards to our faith, thoughts and emotions about losing our sweet baby. I will attach it to this email. Feel free to read it.

Now, this is the letter she wrote for her dear son:

My Dearest Rami, Ketkuti, Azizi, Habibi, Loving Archer, Fiery One, My Opal Baby. I loved you from the moment I knew you were here. I knew before there was a test to prove your existence, I knew you were here with us, living and growing in my belly. The moment it was confirmed I felt like the most accomplished and blessed woman in the world, for I would get to be your mother. God trusted me and my body with you, His gift to us, your mama and baba. We leapt and shouted for joy the day I shared the news of your coming. Our lives were completely changed, and in an instant everything became about you, our precious baby. We didn’t know you would leave us so soon, but our Father in Heaven knew, and so He let the three of us know and learn each other very well while we could be here together. He made sure we knew of your beautiful, loving heart, and you knew your baba’s voice and touch and noisy kisses. I thank God for that.

I prayed for you Rami so much. I prayed that you would know God from the beginning, and now I’m sure you know him even better than we do. Oh how I wish I could have known you here in my arms. I want to hold you, feed you, watch you grow up, teach you the ways of this world and point you always toward the Lord. But apparently my work for you is done. I pointed you in the right direction and you made it safely to your home, your eternal home with Jesus. Some day we will meet you there, and we will know each other soul to soul, and we as your mama and baba will be blessed to see what amazing person our Father made you to be, truly in His image, without any of the weight and filth of this crazy world.

I won’t apologize again, for I know you have already forgiven me. You told me so the day you were born into Heaven. You came in a fiery flash of lightening, my fiery one. You left your mark on my body, you are forever in my heart, you made me your mama, you changed me and I will never, ever be the same. Thank you for you, our gift from above. I am so proud of you. I’ll love you forever, my sweet boy.

Love,
Your mama

And finally, there is a last email she wrote to me that I wanted to include. I was fortunate enough to receive more details of this amazing story through this email, so I would like to share it here:

Just a little FYI as you get into creating this...

As I wrote, Rami means "archer", but it also means "loving". I forgot to put that in the letter I sent to everyone. I know that God wanted us to know our son's character and spirit, because he allowed something incredible to happen at each of the 3 ultrasound appointments we had during our pregnancy. Each technician at some point during our 3 different visits commented on our son's heart, saying what a beautiful heart he had. I think it not a coincidence that this was said on 3 separate occasions, by 3 different people. Beautiful is not exactly medical terminology. I know they were talking about the physical makeup of his heart, but Ghaith and I (not knowing we would lose our baby so soon) believed the Lord was telling us something of our son's character. We were intrigued and thankful for such an insight.

God has used images of the ocean in the most traumatic and trying times of my life. In my dreams, I am often swept up in a whirlwind of ocean chaos, both above and below the surface, and God is right there encouraging me, giving me the strength and confidence I need to survive. He makes me able to conquer the ocean. A few weeks before I gave birth, my dearest female friends and family members held a "mother blessing" for me. Each of them brought a blessing (a poem, scripture, prayer or song) and a bead (whatever reminded them of me). The beads were each special in their own way; one was speckled and sort of shiny like the scales of a fish, another made of a light, delicate African wood, others of glass the color of sand, there were blue turquoise ones from Nepal, multi-colored ones made of sea glass, and several seashells. After all the beads were collected, I realized there was an ocean theme. God was showing me that He would give me the strength to get through labor, and I was so encouraged. Of course I didn't know then, that He would bring my precious baby home before he was born. I DO know I needed that assurance of strength from the One who sustains my life, in order to get through the deeply painful experience of birthing my son the way I had to.

One of the blessings given to me that evening was a piece written for parents. It describes the parent as an archer, and the child as an arrow, and depicts beautifully how we as parents are to guide our children in their early years and put them on the right path in life. We can't hold onto them forever, nor can we decide their exact path for them. We have to raise them right and point them in the right direction. At that time we were still struggling to find a suitable Arabic name for a boy, in case our baby was a boy. Ghaith's dad called around that time and suggested that we name him Rami. When Ghaith told me the meaning, "archer", I knew we had finally found the perfect name.

A few days after I gave birth, my sister sent me a bit of information on my son's birthstone, the opal, which happens to be the kind of stone I have worn in my tiny nose ring for the last 5 or 6 years. When I went to the fabric store in search of material to make Rami's blanket, I found the most perfect opalesque fabric. It was sheer and had opal colored specks and others that looked like rain drops. So beautiful. Here's what my sister wrote about the opal:

October birthstone, Opal.

The Opal was called "Cupid Paederos" by the Romans, meaning a child beautiful as
love. One legendary explanation for this gemstone's origin is that it
fell from heaven in a flash of fiery lightning.

I tell you these things so that you have a bit of an idea of what I've been through and how significant this time has been for me. I never understood before how a woman could feel so connected to her baby before giving birth, nor why the loss of a baby was so incredibly difficult. I get it now.

Feel free to incorporate as much or as little as I've shared with you in the piece you create for us.

Blessings,
Tiffany

I have been so blessed through the creating of this piece, and I hope you are blessed through reading it. If you have any questions or want any more information, or Tiffany's address, please email me at farlen444@gmail.com, and I will gladly answer any questions you have.

Blessings and Love! ♥

"Dreamer"

2010-12-10T15:38:00.000-08:00

I'd like to introduce a very special friend to you today. Her name is "Dreamer."

With her arms flapping in the breeze and her "head in the clouds" so far that some birds have made a nest there, she has single-handedly stolen my heart. I absolutely love this beautiful little doll! She is my first doll that I have made since I was a child, and I plan on making many more!

I will probably keep her since she is my first, but I am curious: is anyone else like me and loves the homemade doll and would want one for their very own?

Much love, ♥

Paper!!!

2010-12-10T15:18:00.000-08:00

I just got home with this magnificent chunk of paper and I couldn't be more excited. Well, I suppose if there were $100 bills wedged in-between each sheet than I probably would have been more excited. That would have been a lot of money. There are 200 pieces of paper in this bad boy.

I plan on adding some color to my pieces.... or experimenting with color anyway. We'll see what comes of it. I have recently been working on my biggest piece yet. I just sent it off in the mail today to the beautiful woman and her husband to whom it belongs. I can't wait to share this piece with you and to share the stunning, heart-wrenching story that goes with it. Bring your tissue boxes with you when you read that post.

More to come! Love to all. ♥

Photo Shoot

2010-12-08T13:39:00.000-08:00

I am in love.

It's amazing how quickly and utterly I fell for this little creature, but I can't help it! She is so far from being done, and yet, the life I feel is in her is unmistakable!!!

My own little tiny being.

I'm hoping to get her features painted tonight and maybe start some wee little clothes for her. But, for now, I am off to continue creating dear Tiffany's papercut. I hope to share Tiffany's story on my blog when I am finished, in hopes that it may bless many as it has blessed me.

♥

Working on...

2010-12-06T23:04:00.000-08:00

The world's tiniest moveable doll ♥

It literally took me For. EV. ER. to shape the body. It is the hardest thing to do when you're working on such a small scale. But, finally, this little one is in the oven hardening up. I can't wait to get some clothes made for it.

I also just ordered some mohair online for the first time! If you didn't know, mohair is a very fine-quality hair from Angora goats. It is beautiful and looks just like human hair. It's usually wavy or curly. I ordered some gorgeous brown and also black. I want blond eventually as well... and red...

Making dolls is such a beautiful process. I feel so in love with the human body as I do it. What a marvelous creation! God is so creative and awesome!

Eggs

2010-12-06T16:34:00.001-08:00

Magical promises of life. Beautiful, fragile, silent.

I'm making little eggs out of clay for my doll, and am amazed at the little wonder of them.

Papercut: "Touched"

2010-12-05T23:05:00.000-08:00

This was another one that just came out of me.

Thoughts: From much pain came much beauty and life from the One who performed the greatest act of love in all history.
From His pain came our glory.
From His blood, the crown that gives us life.
Thank you for your love, God.
Thank you that you are love. That is your name.

New Little Papercut

2010-12-04T19:04:00.001-08:00

Did this one today.

Detail shots:

She just came out of me all on her own! I had no sketch beforehand and no idea of what was going to come out!

I love when things are born and I feel like I took no part in it :)

Papercut

2010-12-03T23:35:00.001-08:00

Possibly my favorite one yet! I'm not sure what to call it yet... maybe "On the Wind"...?

This papercut really makes me want to illustrate a child's storybook. ♥

Magic Today

2010-12-03T17:41:00.001-08:00

Today I drove to the beach beneath this sky.

And praised the Creator who can make such wondrous beauty!

Earlier that morning, I had been praying, asking God for a job, which I know I need to find as I am running out of money.

As I walked along the beach, I found these:

This was by far the MOST sand dollars I have ever found at once. "How is this possible, Lord? What does this mean?" I asked in awe and amazement.

Then, in my heart, I heard his promise, "I will provide for you."

Like a little girl, I started to giggle when I realized what He meant. Sand dollars. Right!

I went home with thirty sand dollars.

THANK YOU GOD My Provider.

And THANK YOU GOD for being the author of beauty!!!

You are the best painter, the most captivating artist, the most wondrous, awe-inspiring designer.... EVER.

Thank you.

Papercut: "Prayer"

2010-12-02T18:24:00.000-08:00

This piece is a commission piece for my Aunt, Joy Allen.

The image is one I thought of a last year while I was in Tennessee, and just now have been able to bring it to life.

Detail shots:

I am so happy with it!

Papercut: "Woman"

2010-11-30T16:14:00.001-08:00

The idea for this papercut came to me right as I was about to fall asleep (this is actually the time when I get a lot of my ideas). ;)

Taking details is hard with my camera, so I apologize for the blurry pictures. It's the best I can do right now.

(Hair detail: clam with pearl)

(Hair detail: baby fetus)

(Hair detail: butterfly and cocoons)

This made me rejoice just a little bit more in the beauty of womanhood!

Papercut: "Risk"

2010-11-30T09:52:00.001-08:00

This is actually a combination of two different ideas I had: one was "Risk," picturing a girl stepping out on a tree branch.

The second was "Follow your Heart," which pictured a girl with a heart in her chest following a heart dangling in front of her.

Then I realized I could combine the two. I realized that to follow your heart is to risk. And, hence, this little one was born. She became a dancer as I drew her. :)

Some detail shots:

Papercut: Dive in Deep

2010-11-27T23:15:00.000-08:00

I just finished this one today. I love it. ♥

You can see a little better detail here:

Alas, one of these days I will get a better camera! The one I have now isn't the best (to say the least). But thank you God that I have one and I look forward to the day when I can enjoy an even better one!

Seeing Into Now

2010-11-27T01:18:00.000-08:00

. . .

.
.
.

,,

. .

,,,,, . .

. , .

... ;

;

' , , '''

.. , ,, , ,,,

.

New Papercut -- For Tenny

2010-11-19T23:55:00.000-08:00

I am so excited about this little girl I dreamed up and cut out tonight!!!

If my camera worked a little better, you could see the tiny details on her sweater :)

She is for Tenny. The working title of the piece is "Let Your Story Begin." I'm going to mat and frame it and add the words somewhere.

I love her. :)

Coloring Book

2010-11-19T16:34:00.000-08:00

For the 5th birthday of a very special little girl I know, Miss Caedra Laity... ahem, I mean, her highness Miss Princess Caedra Laity, I decided to make her a little coloring book! Here it is, page by page. Enjoy!

(Princess Scarmaline is my favorite!!!)

Which is your favorite Princess? :)

Recent Activity!

2010-11-13T23:23:00.000-08:00

I most certainly have been "up to stuff" recently.

I have (can I say "had"? You know, I think I will!) a bad habit of starting things and not finishing them.... but I am pleased to say that I am getting much better at this! Actually, the thought of being able to post things to this blog is a huge encouragement in my creative endeavors.

I want to show a couple pieces that are "works in progress" and give a sneak peak at my favorite little piece right now!

But to start:

A little bitty bird cage I am working on right now! (The whole cage is about as tall as my index finger).

I love it! It is so cute! I love little tiny things!

And then there is this little painting I just barely started:

We'll see where it goes. Or where she goes.

And now, a little sneak peak at my up-and-coming favorite who is almost done!

;)

Much love! Make stuff!

oh wait p.s. tomorrow I will post pictures of a little gift I am making for a little friend! :)

Little Drifter

2010-11-11T13:06:00.000-08:00

She started as a sketch. I thought I'd try to put her on canvas. Might add something metal:

...she came to me in my head while I was worshipping :) ...I think she'll show up in a different way in a different piece. We'll see...

First Papercuts!

2010-11-07T10:27:00.000-08:00

I have recently fallen in love with the art of papercutting. It is such a broad field to play in and there are so many ways you can take this magical art! I couldn't wait to try my hands at it.

I finally got my own razor and a self-healing mat!

And look what we teamed up to make (the self-healing mat actually didn't take part in creating these first ones. I literally just got my mat. And that poor little piece of cardboard I used to cut on deserves the credit. He took quite a slashing for the sake of art):

Meet: The Princess and the Pea

So dainty.

Silly queen. Of course she would feel that pea beneath all those mattresses! She's a princess.

And, for my second papercut ever, came this little one:

A little girl on a swing...

And her little friend:

Squirrel!

Oh the joy of papercutting! There will be, I hope, many more to come!

Bye-Bye old posts

2010-11-07T01:41:00.000-07:00

You know what? It didn't even take me the night to decide. (Or even 10 minutes, actually!). I'm erasing it all and starting fresh! I have a good feeling about this!

Cake

2010-11-07T01:06:00.000-07:00

So, I made a CAKE the other day. I have been up to a LOT of creative things recently, which I will be posting in the next couple days.

I am tempted to erase everything on my blog that comes before this entry. Why? Well, I changed the colors of the blog to brighten it up. So now it feels new. Also, I have moved back to California, so that makes me feel new. Plus, I like the idea of starting fresh. Isn't that reason enough? Maybe I will then. I'll sleep on it.

Anyway, CAKE:

I picked a random chocolate cake from the Food and Wine 2009 annual cookbook.

Special thing about this recipe? It called for a shredded beet! It was created as a submission for a healthy-cooking challenge on Top Chef.

***I want to note that I did not pick it for this reason. I am an advocate of healthy eating. A big one. But I am also an advocate of cake. Unadulterated, undebatably decadent, sin-in-my-mouth-but-it's-oh-so-worth-it cake. And that's that.***

In goes the shredded beet:

Purple-pink batter! It reminds me of My Little Ponies.

Then I mixed it in with the dry ingredients:

And whiiiiiiiiissssssskkkkkked!!!!!!

The next step was to beat some egg whites (4) until "soft peaks" form. Note to self: this is a workout when done by hand. Note to self #2: Sense of accomplishment from hand-whisking egg whites is worth the effort.

My little eggy hillsides... I am so proud! (*sniff*).

For some reason, I failed to take a picture of the actual cake... so....

That means you need to make yourself a chocolate cake and then take a picture of it and proudly sport it to your friends and admirers!

Happy caking!